Kaathal - The Core Breaker of 2023

Kaathal - The Core is one of the movies of 2023 that left an ache in my heart. It's the kind of movie where you just sit and stare at the wall for hours after you finish it. I keep thinking about the pain of Mathew, Omana, Thankan and Chachan and it is something that continues to haunt me.

Mathew’s pain is something that has become part of him by living the prime of his life pretending to be an integral part of a heteronormative society. His calm and meek personality is like a dormant volcano that is likely to erupt anytime. When he confronts his pain with Chachan and Omana, we see him peeling off his outer layer of crust and showing us his core. The core, that has carried deep wounds of fear and shame of coming out and confronting his fears, all this while.

I don’t think I have seen a more compassionate and kind woman as Omana in recent movies. Despite being in a marriage that doesn’t fulfill her needs, she stays in it for years for the sake of Mathew. And when the right time comes,she prepares to end it paving a way to end Mathew’s pain too. Omana empathises with Mathew and later they become each other’s safe space to relieve the agony. Their marriage might be similar to that of many others in our society that sacrifice the lives of people in vain.

Chachan’s silence in the movie is louder than words. He realises his mistake and carries the guilt of his decisions and misjudgements in silence. Thankan also hides his agony and sees people around him enduring the same. He wants to alleviate their pain but is helpless and afraid. The suffering of all these characters that pierce their core left me wondering desperately how different things would have been for them if this was a better society. When the movie ends the story showing an ideal society, we realise how far we are from achieving it and how many lives are left to be sacrificed. Mathew and Omana’s story is a mirror that is held towards us to reflect on the people who suffer silently carrying a heavy heart without knowing when to get it out off them.

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SHE

She was a girl of little importance.. She was not a damsel or a princess. But there was fire in her eyes. The fire of determination. Fire of dreams to be fullfilled. She never saw it ,but others did. But others never understood it ,but she did. She always dreamt of her future prince. Her shining eyes and glossy lips always waited for the arrival of her prince. One day. She met her prince,the charming one who came on white horse, she believed destiny made them meet, And she prayed let the same destiny unite them!! Days passed. Everyday she saw him. But she was afraid to come out of her shell. Another day. As she walked, he came. He walked towards her. she paused. As he reached closer her heart wrenched from its seat. And now there is no distance between them. He smiled and reached for her lips. she closed her eyes. They kissed. It was deep. He looked at her. She tried to be normal.. But there was nothing normal around her .

My Tagless Name

(Written as a part of International Women's Day 2018. This poem was published in Delhi Poetry Slam on March 15 2018.) I'm Beautiful. But, I'm called inferior, I'm a Housewife. I'm called a bitch, I'm a Whore. I'm named as powerless, I'm the Company CEO. I'm called the blabbering witch, I'm a Grandma. I'm called careless I'm a Nurse. I'm known as no sex, I'm a Trans. I'm termed as the backward, I'm an Indian. I may not be fond of men, But that doesn't define me. I cannot be reduced to a column in an application form. My hands and legs are exuberant enough to do sundry duties. I change my cloaks several times, and hide in tangled forests, expecting your empty handed return. My ugliness laughs at your hollowness as I bath in the Blue Sea. I walk around the globe and touch your horoscopic stars. I tread through your ways , the prisoner light breaks its shackles and encroaches my body.

THE DREAMCATCHER ( A Poem)

She tried. And made the hoops from willows to wove those magical webs. Wrapped the hoop with suede lacing. The string was woven onto the hoop. Hours passed. She wove some of her favourite decorations to it. Feathers and gemstones, hidden with meanings. Hours passed. But she wanted it to be perfect. And finally, here it is. THE DREAMCATCHER. She hung it on her bedroom wall and watched it carefully. Rubbed it with an artist's pride. The hoop smiled, ensuring the travel of sun through the mighty sky. She thought that when night comes the hole in the center would only let Bawedjige( good dreams)pass. She would be able to sleep safe and sound today. The nightmares will never ever haunt her. For she has her Dreamcatcher. And Bawedjigewin( bad dreams) will be trapped in the web, to be dispelled at the first light of morning. She slept. The sun rays pierced into her eyes. She opened her eyes with the innocence of a newborn babe. The thought stroke her. She

THE FORGOTTEN STORIES

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