Skip to main content

Disobedience


Every time my heart breaks, 
I see a thousand happy faces, 
Wandering leisurely, 
With peace of mind. 
I wonder if they are really happy, 
I feel like stabbing them at heart
And see it myself. 
The happily beating heart. 
Every time it happens, 
I promise my heart to protect it from
happening again. 
But my heart doesn't follow reason, 
I fall again for cute smiles, 
Big cares, warm touches, 
And big funny stories. 
I make myself ready for
the next venture, 
As if it is new as if it is the 'one'. 
But happy faces pop up after a while, 
Reminding me I'm wrong again, 
That my home carries no happiness, 
It only takes away the existing one. 
My mind tries to reason with my heart, 
But sometimes my mind falls asleep, 
And heart steps out stealthily, 
Searching to pour out and cling, 
Regardless of seasons and time. 
And every time the mind wakes up late, 
When it's time to start the mending works. 
I feel my heart whizzing, 
Of all the pain and tearing up, 
Unable to decipher the true human
Emotions. 
And I'm sick of my heart's disobedience, 
Its impulsivity and stupidity. 
And I'm done saying, 
'I shouldn't have'. 

A. C

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Twenty-Five

They say twenty-five matters,  25 is the age where you are asked to be responsible,  You are supposed to bring home food,  It's an age where your uterus has to be fukcing good,  It is an age where you have to be fair And good as a nymph,  It is when your wallet should have a five-figure sum.  They say at twenty-five,  You will be twenty-five times purer than ever,  To breed and nurture,  No dear not your dreams, but your children's.  But that's not it.  I SAY THAT IS NOT IT.  It is an age where you realize,  You no longer have the desire to live the monotonous life,  You no longer feel alive at a celebration,  You find yourself as the perfect company,  You don't care if you die today or tomorrow,  You want to puke at people who restrict you from doing things.  You no longer want to be surrounded by people,  And your skills are your only saviours.  At 25, you no longer care if people love ...
2 comments
Read more

Revising Utharam: The Weight of Forgotten Truths

I think more than ghost stories, most people are afraid of the unknown. The  unknown when transforms into a more fearful truth can devastate a person’s entire existence. V.K Pavithran’s  1989 movie Utharam is based on Daphne Du Maurier’s short story “No Motive”. It follows Balu’s quest to uncover the truth behind the mysterious and unexpected suicide of Leena, his best friend Mathew’s wife and someone he considers family.  Balu’s investigative skills as a journalist lead him to some strange and unexpected revelations about Leena’s past. He discovers that Leena had a completely different personality and a  shocking, forgotten history. Despite being a generous person and loving wife of Mathew, Leena lived a seemingly perfect life, content and unaware of her repressed memories. Her life as a poet and a loving partner to Mathew appeared nothing short of perfection. Yet one fine day she decided to take her life in the spur of the moment.  Unlike most mystery movies ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Women of Rifle Club

Over the decades, Malayalam cinema has often used female characters to uphold male protagonists, reinforcing the power dynamics in favor of men. This pattern, normalized and celebrated as long as the hero “wins” the situation, has shaped narratives for years. However, in recent times, audiences have begun to unlearn this ingrained bias, recognizing it as something that needs to be critiqued rather than celebrated.  Aashiq Abu’s Rifle Club breaks away from this mold, igniting the fiery tension of a wild war in the Western Ghats. What sets this film apart is its portrayal of women— each female character is uniquely strong and layered, claiming her identity with confidence. From being mocked for being “just a woman” to owning the scene, characterisations of women in Malayalam cinema are beginning to emerge as unstoppable forces. Society often perpetuates the stereotype that women, being emotional, are inherently weaker or less stable in grave situations. Instead, the movie shows that ...
Post a Comment
Read more